Feast your eyes on this awesome cover! Now, I don't know about you, but I just love it! :D
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Heh? Why did you name it that? What does it mean?
I've been asked these questions and here's a little explanation of what rule of thirds means and why I chose this term for the continuation of Mary's story...
Rule of Thirds is the photography term for the technique of dividing your picture evenly with two imaginary lines running vertically and horizontally, then focusing your most important subjects either along these lines or at their points of intersection.
Number one: I wanted to stick with using a photography reference in the title and number 2: I feel like this term fit the new turn Mary's life has taken. The "picture" here is the big picture that is her life and with all that is happening she has to figure out a way to organize all the important elements and people.
So, there is it, like it or hate it...I hope you like it, because I love it! :)
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Okay, now without further ado here is the first chapter. Happy Reading my Peeps!
Chapter 1
It’s pouring outside, and inside it’s no different. Sarah’s
fearful tears just keep coming and I can’t stop from joining her. I hold her
tight as she falls apart, but still no comforting words can pull her together. John
is in a coma. As if fighting breast cancer isn’t enough, now she faces the fifty-fifty
chance of her husband pulling through or leaving her and Ginny for the
afterlife.
The sound of the beating rain drowns out the buzz of the E.R.
filled with ringing telephones, murmuring voices, beeping machines and the
occasional crying child.
On my other side is Bryce, my silent comfort. Jane and Ginny
are in the hospital cafeteria with Sarah’s parents where, again, Ginny is kept
in the dark in an attempt to protect her from the harsh realities of life.
As the minutes pass so do the tears and finally Sarah is calmed.
“Okay, I’m ready to go in.”
Her tears have turned her voice raw and scratchy and her porcelain
skin red and puffy.
“Okay.” I nod and stand with her letting her squeeze my hand
as tightly as she needs.
We slowly make our way down the hall to John’s room leaving
Bryce in the waiting room. A nurse in bright lime green scrubs and blue crocks
is just leaving his room when we get to the door. The sad smile she gives us
causes Sarah to squeeze my hand tighter. I wince at the pain, but don’t let out
any sound.
The sight of John swollen and bruised, connected to tubes
and machines is heart wrenching. The rhythmic beeps connected to his heart and
IVs mingle with the whisper of the ventilator pushing air into his lungs.
I hold Sarah up when her legs wobble at the sight of the
only man she’s ever loved look so weak and battered. Tears burn my eyes and I
try to blink them away remembering the doctor’s words, “Try to keep his environment as peaceful as possible.” Easier said than
done.
With shaky fingers Sarah pulls John’s lifeless hand into
hers. Silent tears stream down her face and soak the sheets as she leans over
to kiss the back of his hand. I hold my breath waiting, hoping to see any kind
of reaction to her touch. His still body remains inanimate. Not even a flutter
of his lashes or a slight tick of his fingers. I let out a sigh and grab the
box of tissues next to his bed. Wiping my eyes I pull out two soft sheets and
hand them to Sarah before she turns his sheets into a giant handkerchief. With
great effort she pries her hand from his to take the tissues. A strangled
hiccup slips out and she quickly presses her hand over her lips smothering the
heartbreaking sound.
Very quietly I get the other chair in the room and put it
down next to her. Gently I wrap my arm around her shoulders, comforting her as
her body shakes with the sobs she won’t let out. It takes every bit of my
self-control to not break down. Normally I have my sob-fest alone, so that when
I’m needed I can be strong, but this time I was so focused on my mess I spent
the entire ride up lost in thought or pulling over to ralph.
Slowly Sarah pulls herself together, lets out a long,
exhausted breath and moves closer to John.
“I’ll leave you two alone and go check on Ginny.”
I give her leg a gentle squeeze then get up and walk out,
unshed tears clogging my throat. As soon as I close the door behind me I stop
to lean up against the wall and once again I send out a silent plea to the
heavens begging for mercy and a miracle. The tears start their burning descent
down my cheeks and I wipe at them trying to pull myself together. I can see
Bryce from where I’m walking and I’m not sure if it’s my watery view or if what
I’m seeing is real, but he looks angry, very angry. This is a look I’ve never
seen on him before. As I get closer I slow my pace. Suddenly I’m not sure how
to approach him. I look away and I have to blink to be sure I’m seeing clearly.
Alex is here and he’s staring at me. Call it a force of habit, or needing the
familiar in the moment of a crisis, but when he moves in to hold me, I let him.
I crash into his chest and weep.
“Shhh,” he sooths into my ear and rubs the back of my head
with one hand while holding me tightly to him with the other. For a moment I
forget everything that’s happened between us. I forget that Bryce is sitting
just a few feet from us, watching. All I can do is soak up Alex’s touch. “I’m
here, baby, everything’s gonna be all right,” he coos, and suddenly I’m angry.
“How can you say that?” I demand trying to pull away, but
Alex tightens his hold on me. “The doctors won’t even say that,” I cry out
shaking my head.
“I’m sorry. You’re right; I don’t know that. I guess I was
just trying to comfort you,” he explains.
He tenderly kisses to the top of my head and again I’m lost
in his comfort. The moment doesn’t last very long when I hear someone very
obviously clearing their throat behind us. Bryce!
His name blares in my thoughts. I quickly tear myself out of Alex’s arms
without any warning so he can’t keep me there again. I look up at Bryce and I
know if I start with ‘I’m sorry’ I’m
apologizing for doing something that I haven’t really done, but seeing the
white-hot anger rolling off of him those are the only words I want to say. I have
this indescribable urge to calm him, to reassure him, but before I can get one
word out Alex speaks up.
“What is he doing
here?” he practically growls through gritted teeth.
My gaze shoots up to him in utter surprise. In all our time
together I’ve never heard him speak to another person with so much venom.
“Alex…” I start off carefully. I don’t want to hurt him
anymore. It was why I chose to stay away from Bryce while we settled our
divorce, but then finding out I was pregnant really left me no other choice. I
lift my hand into my hair instantly. “Bryce and I—”
“We’re engaged,” Bryce announces.
He slides his arm around my shoulders possessively, his
words coming out as a claim and a challenge. They have the effect he’s going
for. Alex instantly looks hurt and then infuriated. He bristles and I instinctively
flinch.
“Alex,” I start to explain.
“Is that so?” He directs his question to Bryce, completely
ignoring me. “Well, I wouldn’t hold on too tight, if that baby’s mine then so
is Mary,” he arrogantly informs Bryce.
I stand off to the side flabbergasted, watching the
ridiculous primal scene before me. Both are standing with clenched fists, rigid
postures and the air between them is thick with testosterone you could choke on
it. I want to scream at them.
“Are you two kidding me?” I spit out. “I have not agreed to
anything with either of you,” I remind them. “So before either one of you
thinks to pee on me next remember that!”
Twisting on my heels, I storm off.
“Un-be-lievable!” I grumble, stepping out into the chilly
air.
The rain has died down and a misty fog is left in its wake.
I let out a slow ragged breath and inhale the clean fresh mountain air. I know
this is not the place or time to get into this. I should be up there with Sarah
and instead I’m down here trying to get away from the mess that’s followed me. What am I gonna do? I hate admitting it,
but a small, very selfish part of me wishes everything wasn’t so out of sorts for
Sarah so that she could help me through all of this. Anytime I’ve needed
direction in my life it’s been Sarah who’s helped me find that path.
Shaking my head at my selfishness I turn back towards the
hospital and walk right into Bryce’s hard chest.
“Ohmigod!” I shout, startled.
“What was that up there Mary? I thought we talked about
being together and now all of a sudden you’re saying there was never any
agreement?”
“Bryce, you have got to stop doing that. Unless I say the
words my silence is not an answer.”
“So, you’re thinking about staying with him now?” he demands
disgustedly.
“No. I don’t know. I told the both of you I’m not making any
promises until we find out which of you is the father. I don’t want to hurt
anyone, but more importantly I don’t want to hurt this baby.” Looking up at
him, I let out a slow breath and reply in a softer voice. “I’m going to do whatever
I think is best, Bryce. And right now what I think is best is for the three of
us to put off any relationship talk. Okay?”
I can see he doesn’t like my answer, but he nods anyway.
“Fine, but I’ve told you how I feel, regardless of whom the
father is, I’m in love with you Mary.” Gently his hand moves over my stomach.
“All of you,” he professes then covers my mouth with his in a feathery soft
kiss.
I can barely stand, as always his touch having a strong
effect on my body. If I could I’d stay right here in his arms lost in his
kisses…but I can’t.
“Bryce, that includes any acts of intimacy,” I say pulling
away.
His eyes take on a devilish gleam. “I won’t make any
promises.”
Forcing myself not to reveal just how easily his charms can
break me down, I twist my lips to the side and look away.
“I have to go check on Sarah.”
I look away again hoping he won’t pull me back in, because
honestly I can only resist him so many times before I give in to what I really
want.
“Sure. Uh, I got us a room while you were up there with
Sarah. So, I have to go finalize the reservation. I can come back after
checking in or if you’d prefer I can come get you when you’re ready.”
I’m instantly warmed by his thoughtfulness, and as much as I
would love to spend the night in his arms in some hotel room, I can’t. It would
completely go against my decision.
“That’s very sweet of you Bryce, but I can’t—”
“Don’t.” He stops me. “Just let me do this for you. If you
want I’ll leave in the morning and we can figure out where to go from there,
but for tonight let me be with you. Please, Mary. I just got you back in my life;
I can’t let you walk out again so quickly.”
I swallow past the tightness in my throat. My selfishness
has brought this amazing man to his knees and I wish I could just give him what
he wants. What we both want.
“I’m not walking out Bryce.”
“I love you Mary,” he says softly pulling my hands into his.
He holds my stare with his and continues in a softened voice. “I’ll respect
your wishes. Just please, give me one night.”
His pleading words are chipping away at my resolve. I can’t
breathe being this close to him. I want so much to push up on my toes and press
my lips to his. Seeing my reflection in his sparkling pewter eyes and the
emotion of those depths. Well, it’s enough. All my resistance is eradicated. I
slowly nod my head and elated relief washes over him. Then, as if reading my
thoughts he lowers his lips over mine and I melt into him instantly.
Not even a second passes and I quickly break contact before
I can fully enjoy the moment. Rushing to some sparse bushes, I heave. This can’t be happening. I haven’t eaten
a single thing since we arrived two hours ago, but somehow the need to purge is
strong. Unfortunately, I have nothing in me to give, so I remain bent over dry
heaving until I can regain control over my body.
“Argh!” I growl. “I’m so done with this part already!” I
shout not caring how whiny I sound.
“I know Love,” Bryce soothes and helps me up.
I love the way it sounds when he calls me that: Love. I know it’s a platonic nickname
commonly used by the British, it’s like saying friend, but the way it flows
from his lips and the emphasis he puts into the word, I know there’s nothing
platonic about it.
“Maybe you need to eat something. C’mon, I’m taking you to
the cafeteria,” he softly orders.
He pulls me into his side and kisses my temple as we walk. I
can easily imagine a happy life with him. Which is why I can only give him one
night. Anything more and the decision will be made without any clear-minded
deliberation.
We walk into the cafeteria and I’m thankful there aren’t any
smells in here that make me want to ralph. Bryce walks over to grab me some
food and I head over to the table where Jane and a very glum Ginny sit.
“Hey,” I say to Jane and sit across from her and Ginny.
“How’s my Ginny Bean?”
She looks as if the cupcake before her is a bowl of broccoli
instead of the sugary dream every kid devours without really tasting.
“I miss my mommy and daddy,” she complains, and my heart
breaks for her.
“I know sweetheart. Mommy will be down here as soon as she
can, okay?”
My attempt to ease her worry is meaningless. To her they’re
just empty words right now. With kids, I’ve found, actions always speak louder.
They’ll believe you when they see it. She nods half-heartedly continuing to
fork the mutilated, uneaten cupcake. Handing me a cup of hot water with lemon
and a dinner roll, Bryce sits down next to me. I smile, loving that he knows I couldn’t
possibly be able to eat or drink much else.
“Thank you, this is perfect,” I say.
Jane forces out a loud, exaggerated exhale that I
immediately ignore. I look up and see Bryce doesn’t or can’t ignore her so
easily. His happy expression falls and instantly I feel protective. I turn and
give her a warning glare before shifting my attention to Ginny.
“Gin, would you like something else instead of that
cupcake?”
She shakes her head, her ringlets bouncing off the sides of
her face.
“You know I saw this claw machine out in the hall with a
bright pink bear. How would you like to help me get it?” Bryce asks Ginny in an
excited tone. Her eyes light up and she nods emphatically. “Well then let’s
go,” he says, his smile matching hers.
I smile too thinking no matter the age there isn’t a female
in this world that can resist his charms! She was instantly smitten from the
moment she met him a few hours earlier. It’s actually very adorable. I look up
at Jane and realize I’m wrong. She may be the only woman to not like Bryce. She’s practically
burning a hole through him with the most hostile scowl I’ve ever seen on her.
“Be right back. Try to eat something Love,” he whispers in
my ear.
He plants a lingering kiss to my cheek before he walks away.
“I can’t believe you brought him here!” Jane sneers.
“Not that I have to explain anything to you, but he was with
me when you called me. He was concerned and wanted to drive me instead of
letting me drive myself,” I respond in equal irritation. I inhale then let it
out slowly. Slowly, I start to pick at my dinner roll and attempt to ignore her
hot glare.
“Sarah and John need our full attention right now. How can
you give it if you have to make sure he’s comfortable?” she demands.
“He’s thirty-two years old; I think he can take care of
himself. Also, he understands how important it is for me to be here for Sarah
and John. He isn’t trying to cut into any of that. If he turns out to be the
father he’s going to be around for good, so you should really give him a chance
and get to know him. Honestly, I don’t get why you hate him so much.”
Suddenly, the idea of someone I love so much not accepting
him hurts.
“I take it he’s said if the baby isn’t his he wants nothing
to do with you.” She sounds incredibly confident.
“He’s said just the opposite. He’s asked me to marry him
regardless of who the father is. He says the baby would just be more of me to
love,” I inform her.
I can see this is not what she expected me to say. Her mouth
falls open and her brows inch up in surprise.
“So…he’s…but you…I’m confused. Did you not accept? Because
it sounds like you didn’t.”
I shake my head and drop my stare.
“I couldn’t. I’m just getting out of a marriage that started
just as impetuously. I want us to date
first. I want us to get to know each other better. We should wait to find out
if what we’re feeling really is something more than infatuation… And then
there’s the baby,” I say placing a protective hand over my stomach. “Alex has
made a very good point about raising a child with separated parents. You
remember what it was like for me. Not that Alex and I would be those kind of
parents, but I hated going back and forth between the two,” I confess wiping at
my tears.
“So if the baby is Alex’s then you’re just going to stay
with…Alex?” she asks. Irritation trickles back into her voice.
“If it’s the best thing for the baby then…” I stop and look
toward the hall where Bryce is, my throat closes at the thought of letting him
go. I shake the feeling away and look at Jane again. “I’ll do what I have to.”
“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You two
don’t love each other,” she proclaims bitterly and crosses her arms over her
chest, clearly bothered.
“That isn’t true. Alex does still love me. When I had gone
over to tell him about the baby, he thought I was there to call off the
divorce. And when I saw him up there, the way he held me, I know he loves me
just as much as he always has. I might not be in love with him, but maybe being
a family can change that.”
I can’t be sure, but she looks hurt. Before either one of us
can continue Ginny’s laugh pulls our attention to her and Bryce. He’s got her
in his arms while she clutches the pink stuffed bear and a purple alligator. My
feelings are at war again, stuck between doing what I think is right and what
feels right.
“Can you stay with Ginny for a while? I want to go check on
Sarah.” She scoots out of the booth before I can answer.
“Of course,” I say anyway.
She stops to give Ginny a quick kiss on the cheek before practically
sprinting out of the cafeteria. PMS?
I wonder to myself trying to understand her. One minute she’s jumping down my throat
for having Bryce here and the next she’s running away like she might catch on
fire.
What are the odds that
she and Bryce had a thing before I ever met him?
The thought rings in my mind before I can stop it from
forming. I’m a little shocked by the strange direction of my musing, but I
still don’t discount it entirely either. He was
after all a major Casanova before he professed his love for me; I suppose it is
possible and would explain her distaste for him. Before I can stop myself my
nails are between my teeth meeting their demise.
“What’s wrong?” Bryce asks me. He lowers Ginny down and sits
her next to him. She’s utterly distracted by playing make-believe with the
stuffed animals.
“Nothing,” I lie.
He gives me a look and I can see I’m not fooling him.
“You’re biting your nails. What’s wrong?” he gently demands.
When I don’t speak his gaze turns firm and demanding. I have
to admit it makes my body tingle. I know it’s crazy, but his take-charge
persona is an absolute turn on. Or maybe it’s just the new hormones.
“Not in front of little ears,” I say, for the first time
thinking fast enough to come up with a pretty good escape. “Later,” I promise.
Secretly, I hope he’ll forget and won’t bring it up when later arrives. He nods understandingly and
I let out a relieved exhale. How am I supposed to explain to him that I’m
worried that the reason my best friend doesn’t like him is because I think
there’s a chance that they hooked up and forgot to tell me? Silently, I groan
at my nonsensical suspicious thoughts. I know it’s wrong to compare, but still
I can’t help thinking that I never once had this kind of a dilemma with Alex.
I ate a little more of my dinner roll until Ginny’s yawns
became too much and she curled up in Bryce’s arms and fell fast asleep. I’m
amazed at how quickly she’s taken a liking to him and how easy he is with her.
Six months ago I would have scoffed at the idea of him being fatherly, or even
being a father, but he’s changed. I move my hand over my stomach and smile
contentedly.
“What’s the smile for?” he whispers, careful not to wake the
snoring little girl in his arms.
“You just surprised me today.”
“Just a promise of what’s to come with me,” he declares
confidently, a smug crooked smile playing on his lips.
I roll my eyes and snort. “You’re so full of yourself.”
“Daddy,” Ginny whimpers against Bryce’s neck.
Instantly the lighthearted moment is changed and my heart tightens
hearing her call out for John. Bryce instinctively rubs her back and she drifts
back into her slumber.
“We should get her to a bed.” I stand up and offer to take
her from him. He shakes his head and effortlessly stands with her securely
against his chest. “I’ll call Jane and find out what Sarah wants to do.”
She picks up on the third ring.
“Hello,” she giggles into the phone. I hear dishes clanking
in the background and my face bunches in confusion.
“Where are you?”
“Alex and I left to get some dinner. Has something happened?
Should we hurry back?” she asks, apprehensively.
I nod, thinking that was probably a really good idea on both
their parts since neither can stand to be in the same room as Bryce. Suddenly,
a pang shoots through my heart at the thought. I really screwed things up and I
can’t see it getting better any time soon.
“Thank you,” I say, meaning it.
“For what?”
“Um…” I look at Bryce and pause. “For being there for him. You’re
a good friend,” I answer honestly.
“We are friends too Mary,” she bites out sounding a little
defensive.
“Of course, I…I wasn’t saying…I didn’t mean it any other
way.”
“So is everything okay over there then?” she asks
impatiently. I blink unsure if its irritation I hear in her voice. “Mary? Should
we get back or not?”
Okay, she’s definitely irritated.
“No, sorry, I’ll let you go. See you in the morning, ‘night,”
I finish a little awkwardly.
“Night,” she replies then ends the call.
I bite my bottom lip. Maybe she’s more upset about the
possibility of Alex and me staying together than she let on. She’s a good friend being protective over the both of us, I rationalize.
“Is everything all right?” Bryce asks in a hushed voice,
careful not to speak any louder with Ginny next to his ear.
“Yeah, Jane and Alex are out at dinner, so I’m just going to
go upstairs to tell Sarah I’ll keep Ginny tonight.” My phone rings, startling
me. I quickly answer it before checking, afraid the loud obnoxious ringing will
wake Ginny. “Hello?” I ask into the receiver once I’m at a safe distance to
talk in a normal tone.
“Mary.”
It’s Alex.
“Yeah,” I ask, feeling a surge of panic at the sound of his
anxious voice.
“I wanted to let you know I plan to go back to the cabin tonight
and I’m assuming that’s where you’ll be. I just wanted to make sure that you’re
okay with that.”
My thoughts turn to the small, two-bedroom log cabin he
bought during our first year of marriage after he realized just how much I
loved Sedona. It’s nestled along a winding road surrounded by thorny bushes,
wild flowers and timeworn Pine and Juniper trees that fill the air with one of
the best scents all year round. It’s one of my most favorite places. I stop
myself before the flashes of happier times can start to creep in.
“Um,” I clear my throat wishing I didn’t have to tell him this.
“That actually won’t be a problem, because I’m going to stay…” I pause looking
up at Bryce and decide no more half-truths, “with Bryce tonight.”
“Right,” he says tersely.
“I’m sorry Alex,” I start then open and close my mouth not
sure what more I could say. Unless the words are ‘let’s get back together’, nothing I say will appease the hurt and
anger I’m responsible for.
“Yeah, me too,” he snaps then ends the call.
I
clear my throat, hating myself and I know I have a long way to go before that feeling will start to fade. Blinking back the tears of hurt that thought brings on I
force my lips into a tight smile before turning back to Bryce.
This is going to be the longest thirty-two weeks of my life.
*****
I hope you loved this full chapter sneak peek :)
Please stick with me and continue to wait as patiently as you possibly can for the soon upcoming release. I promise, you'll be happy in the end!
Love you my Peeps! ~XO
